Yes! It is that time of year again. That time of tinsel, snowmen, Christmas Trees, holly, menorahs, Kinaras, and all that festive stuff.
It is also that time of year for the traditional uncomfortable family gathering. You know the one. You don’t want to go, but your spouse, girl/boy friend, co-worker, bum-on-the-street, convince you that you have to go because otherwise you and they would be ostracized for time immemorial. Of course you’re thinking, “I would like nothing better than to be ostracized for time immemorial from this group of insane soy-nog drinking people,” but for the simple sake of harmony and peace, and the possibility of not getting into a prolonged argument at a later date, you acquiesce.
So you have your standard options. You can get involved with the inevitable conversation about how England should have never gone to war over the Falkland Islands because basically it’s a bunch of rocks and some penguins. Englanders could just as easily gone to the London Zoo to see penguins. Geez! You could also go over with ear muffs and/or ear plugs claiming an ear infection or cold-ear malady. We all know however, that there is no way to look “cool” in ear muffs. Ear plugs will inevitably damage your ear-drums not to mention allowing the government to hear your thoughts (look it up!).
So I offer you another option. I offer you 42.5 pounds of noise canceling prowess. I put forth 720 watts of ear-deafening tonal absurdity. I humbly present the Marantz SR8200. This thing can’t be ignored. It will walk up to you, slap you in the face and tell you that you need to hear Alvin and the Chipmunks’ rendition of “Here Comes Santa Claus” at levels that will make your ears bleed. So, the next time you are in the middle of an uncomfortable gathering, you pull this beast out, turn it up to 11 and hear how all the sounds of the world get swallowed into the Bearnaked Ladies’ version of “I have a Little Dreidel.” I have affectionately dubbed it The Peacemaker and this has nothing to do with a B-36. This truly is all about peace man. Put this marvel of aural engineering between Peres and Rouhani, put on some Coldplay, and you’ve got two leaders grooving as one.
I could tell you that when the SR8200 came out it was Marantz’s flagship receiver (in 2001). I can expound on the Programmable touchscreen, 2-way learning remote control. I will list the 7.1 channels, the multi-room out, the 6 composite, 6 s-video, 8 analog audio inputs, and of course the 8 speaker terminals. I will also mention http://us.marantz.com/DocumentMaster/US/c_sr8200.pdf,where you can get all these details and more. This beauty has served us well and averted many an uncomfortable gathering (people tend to leave quickly when confronted with a wall of bombastic music). It works as well as it did on the first day. The only reason we’re parting with her is we’ve been buried under the steady march of technology and we needed some different ins and outs.
Please let me know if you’re interested or have any questions at all. We’re looking to sell for $150, hernia included.
Of course, there is always what I call the “nuclear option” when dealing with uncomfortable holiday family gatherings. Heavy drinking. Much cheaper, but not nearly as rewarding.