75 McChickens, or a lifetime of Rest and Relaxation? The choice is yours!
Let me set the scene for you. You awaken to the pacifying sound of the ocean’s edge lapping up and down on the white sand beach just outside your bungalow. A gentle breeze blows in off the water just slightly rustling the curtains hanging over your open air windows. You notice that there is a bowl of fresh fruit sitting on the beechwood rattan table just inviting you to enjoy the native flavors of the land. After you have eaten your fill, you drift out onto the deck just taking it all in. Which way will the wind blow you today? Will you go scuba diving with the tropical fauna, perhaps lounge on the soft sand, take advantage of the exotic boutique shopping that surrounds you? You decide, that despite the deep rest you have just awaken from, you need a deeper connection to your body, a deeper relaxation than mere sleep can provide. You chose to visit the finest masseuse that the island has to offer. The massage you receive is one like you’ve never had before… every muscle in your neck and back is manipulated perfectly. You can feel all the stress just draining from your body, being replaced by only peacefulness and calm. There are no worries in the world. You are one with your body.
What I am offering you, gentle reader, is the opportunity to experience this sensation of serene tranquility in the comfort of your own home. Through the wonders of science and modern chair technology, you can sit and recline in your own personal massage chair. Put on some sounds of the sea on your MP3 player, turn up the heat and you will be transferred to an island oasis of luxury and relaxation. The iJoy Turbo 2 by the Sharper Image “was developed in collaboration with Sharper Image’s long-time massage-chair manufacturer, Interactive Health, one of the world’s leading massage robotics companies. Their patented Human Touch Robotic Massage mechanisms accurately replicate the four primary techniques used by therapists and chiropractic professionals — rolling, kneading, percussion and compression — and the back massage feels amazingly real. Human Touch Technology has been tested and is preferred by the American College of Chiropractic Orthopedists.” I could not have said it better myself. To round out the perfect design of this marvel, it comes with a perfectly positioned cup-holder!
How can you pass up this amazing offer? I am offering this piece of mechanized heaven for only $75. It is in very good condition and will make a remarkable addition to your collection of fine furnishings. How better to spend $75? I posit that purchasing 75 McChickens off of the McDonald’s dollar menu will fulfill your gastronomic tendencies (albeit with the creation of copious amounts of gas)… but I am offering you a chance to feed your soul. Please let me help you.
Thank you.
Published: Mon, 28 Apr 2014 11:55:37 +0000 by s.freedman